BEFORE I was forty-five, I only knew about “enough” as it referred to necessities like food-shelter-clothes. Then I found out the term could also mean “I am enough." That was exactly contrary to what I heard all my life and consequently believed. To change a belief which had been reinforced since birth was not easy, but I had come to the layer of the onion where that was the next revelation.
I could change something I’d thought was set in stone. And the way it was done speaks to changing stone: drip by chip. For many years the process was very much fake-it- till-you-make-it. Saying the words, thinking the thoughts, seeing in a new way.
Still, long after I thought the lessons were learned, I had a chance to see that old knowings can indeed be a default coping to which we turn. I was very lucky to have people around me who were not buying old stories without question. Old ways seemed incongruous with the me they knew and they are good enough friends to say so.
I was able, with conscious effort, to stay with the “new” which was by now nearly three decades in place. I was able to remember to rely on “I am enough. There is always enough.” It made me brave in new ways and proved to me again I am indeed enough. And when I am enough, scarcity has no place in my days.